And continuing our coverage…

Oh Canada.

Yes America’s hat is back in the news.

Well this election season is hotting up with people keen to have no fucking idea what they are talking about. Anthony Albanese just suggested that Canada could take Australia’s refugees. Frankly if that deal goes through I’m going to look in to see if Canada can take me. I thought the idea is that we are trying to make coming to Australia less attractive? So what is it, rabid xenophobia aside? Are we trying to stop people coming or are we just being dicks? Have we spoken to the Canadians about this? I don’t recall any deal whereby if we suddenly turn out to be a country of unfeeling monsters they take up the slack. Although I haven’t thoroughly read the Commonwealth principals. So because we are now dicks Canada can have them? Oh good thinking! Anything to shirk our responsibility to the UN convention that we signed. I love how we can just duck out on that anytime we like but why don’t we all try that when it comes to tax time. “Oh I don’t want to pay tax anymore, I never even signed anything that says I would, I feel that playing tax only encouraged money to be extracted from me and I need all my money” yeah go on. Being a signatory to a convention does not just go away because it becomes inconvenient or political expedient. Do you want Russians? Because that’s how you get Russians.

What we are seeing here are two governments desperately trying to do the wrong thing and get away with it.

I am honestly not even sure why we are supposed to be afraid of refugees anymore. If we are sending them to Canada we are clearly unconcerned about their welfare they have Bears and Moose.

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Unconditional Election!

Well, it’s all gone to Pot. The new album version of Radiohead’s True Love Waits is like the housing market for us Gen X’ers. Extremely promising in the 90’s but now it’s finally available to us, it seems shambolic and impossible to get into.

I have care fatigue. I have tried caring and sadly it seems that just caring about things that you feel are important and engaging with people to try to show them your way of thinking and…they don’t care. Not only that you are a moron for not supporting their bias. And nothing highlights this like political differences.

And  GOODIE! Now we are in yet another election cycle and boy aren’t we glad for the prospect of yet another prime minister. If we get yet another one that will mark the 6th time that the position has changed hands in six years. Remember kids if your prime minister changes then it’s nearly time to change your smoke alarm battery.

So what does the next few months bring for us? Me explaining why compassion is a good thing and why hating people with a different skin colour is a bad idea. For me there is good news though.  Well it’s a short election cycle. Less than two months so there’s not much time for either party to do much other than what they have been doing for the last two years. Which is basically nothing?

 

PArliment house

Sometimes it feels like Parliment house is an abandoned building that the two parties are investigating like the Scooby Gang

 

 

Cleverly Malcolm Turnbull has decided to call an early election to capitalise on the popularity he had 4 months ago. His reason? Why the number of senate seats that are held by Labour and minority parties make it impossible to do the business of governance. Those pesky other people keep voting down all the reforms he wants to get through for his business buddies. Why because of them there are still unions! So let’s go to the polls because there’s nothing  that the ever increasingly jaded voting populace likes more than wasting a Saturday lining up to put yet another prime minister in place, we know it’s not going to be the one we voted for now so why go through the charade? I’m pretty sure that Abbot gets another go and then we get Shorten anyway.

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“Look how their hopes burn Julia!”

It may well be Shortens election if the electorate decides to punish Turnbull for being exactly who we wanted and then turning out to be Abbot 2.0. We overwhelmingly wanted a moderate in the position and then realised that that position turned him into a rabid conservative who can’t even get the marriage act change despite the fact that it’s the overwhelming desire of the people and even the parliament. Without going through a 160 million dollar charade which might not even change anything.

As a taxi driver once said to me “It doesn’t matter who you vote for a politician always gets in”.

So this is the bit where I usually talk about Liberal and Labour as a distinction without a difference. Both socially conservative parties with their hands so deep big businesses pockets that it’s hard to see how they can claim to be “for the people” with a straight face. And that’s all true.

But if you haven’t worked that out by now I’m both super confused and annoyed.

But where does that leave you…us?

I do wonder if this could be the election that the Greens gain some real traction. They made significant gains in the last election but they obviously don’t even think that this is their time as they seem very keen to form a minority government with Labour. Which is a bad idea. What we really don’t need is three parties that have no major differences.

Mind you I am reminded of 1998. I was in Germany and the political climate was very, very tense. The scuttlebutt was that the radical right was going to be swept into power within the week and any foreigners, particularly foreigners who weren’t blond and blue eyed should get out. There were special services that were taking people out of the country. I got on a flight from Rammstein airforce base back to London. Two days later the countries green party won a landslide election. I’m not saying it will happen. I’m saying that politics is a strange beast and not always predictable. The sense of weariness with the major parties is palpable and the idea that the ”Wet” Shorten or the “disappointment in a suit” Turnbull could come to power just doesn’t seem to be appealing to anyone. We’ve eaten those biscuits before, they were stale then.

Of course, there’s the usual conglomeration of minority parties should you wish to vote that way and as per usual most of them seem to be excused for thinly veiled racism or single issue parties. Let’s look at a few:

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Minor PARTY ROUNDUP!

Like the Australian Liberty Alliance who are basically an anti-Muslim party who’s senate candidate recently called Waleed Aly’s Logie win “ridiculous” When in fact it’s his Metal Band “Robot Child” that’s ridiculous (I know I’ve heard their album One More War). Another single platform party that just want Australia to travel back to the 50’s to the golden age when it was totally fine to throw rocks at brown people and all the police would do is criticise your stance and choice of rock.

An exception to this rule seems to be the 21st century Australia party whose policies look pretty good actually. And if it also didn’t look like an Anthony Robbins wealth increase seminar I might even be convinced. I’m sure it’s just a Ponzi scheme….but they do have some interesting ideas and the buy-in is very reasonable…..

The Australian Anti-paedophile party is great. But really is there anyone who isn’t against paedophiles? It’s like an Anti-cancer party. I don’t need to join anything to be against cancer. And what will their other policies be like? “Our energy policy relies on a setup very much like the wheel of pain from Conan the barbarian, Paedophiles shuffle around and turn a dynamo to provide us with free clean power”

I think I just talked myself into voting for them.

Or I would have if their mission statement on their website wasn’t just a call for donations. I guess wheels of pain aren’t cheap.

Or maybe you would like a REAL democracy. Sick of the way that governments do business? Back room deals getting you down? Do you want to have direct input into how your country is run?

Why not download the voteflux app, it’s Uber for government.

Vote flux claims that it could actually work and that it would revolutionise the world. Their stance on unicorns or the second coming is a mystery. Basically, you get to vote on every bill before the senate. Then the senate takes the will of the people and implements it. It’s a short distance from there to “Why do we need a senate again?” and then a short distance from there to “That’s the computer we put in charge of the country…all hail the great computer!”

But frankly that might be the change we have all been looking for.

 

More coverage to follow.