Mr Potato

Hate filled potato Peter Dutton has “slammed” the PC world (That’s political correctness not the computer magazine) that we live in decrying the lack of religious indoctrination that children get these days. “We live in a Christian society” he said:

  • ignoring the multicultural secular society that was lying in wait, just outside the Radio-Studio
  • lambasting those with beliefs other than him
  • Even though he has sworn to serve and represent those people
  • As well as the fact that Australia has no official state religion
  • And the Australian Constitution protects freedom of religion.

Mr Dutton linked the issue to the “Teachers for Refugees” campaign in which many teachers in NSW and Victoria wore t-shirts protesting Australia’s offshore detention camps for asylum seekers.

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“If they want to conduct these sort of campaigns, do it online or do it in your spare time. Don’t bring these sort of views into the minds of young kids,” Mr Dutton told 2GB. Without Irony.

Now personally I don’t really care if children sing Christmas Carols, I do care that Peter Dutton was essentially saying:

“Teachers shouldn’t indoctrinate children, unless I happen to agree with what they are indoctrinating them into”

So teachers should not wear t-shirts or oppose government policy, but they should respect and teach the religion I subscribe to. This is not a cry for freedom of speech nor freedom of religion. This yet another “I support the speech I agree with and try to quash the speech I don’t”.

Yet it was this comment from Dutts that was the most telling.

“Because the vast majority of Australian people want to hear Christmas carols. They want their kids to be brought up in a normal environment and they don’t want to be lectured to by do-gooders who frankly don’t practise what they preach in any case.”

“Normal being what I define as normal. Because I have no awareness or tolerance of a world where my every thought and action isn’t mirrored back to me by everyone I see and such a world would make me unbootable and I would die.” He said later…..presumably.

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The other problem with his assertion is that it’s only true if you look at the gross stats. In 2011 (the last time a census was done properly) People who self-identified as “Christians” were at 61% of the peoples. However this lumps all Christian denominations in together Anglicans, Catholics, make up the majority but if you separate them then religion breaks down like this:

Catholics: 25.3%

Atheists/agnostics: 22%

Anglicans: 17%

Everyone else.

Why would you break them down? Well it’s not like a Catholic would happily just exchange services or decide to join the Anglicans. They do in-fact believe different things. In some ways they are as different as Islam and Judaism. But since they both celebrate Christmas they briefly and artificially join forces and are lumped together as “Christians” a group that also includes denominations as disparate as Jehovah’s Whiteness, Mormons and the Uniting Church. And if you think they all believe “essentially” the same thing you have no idea about those religions.

I don’t know who said it but someone once said “I wish all wars were conducted like the war on Christmas, no killing, no rape, no slavery, no guns just wishing people the best in words they don’t quite agree with and then we get to all eat turkey and pudding anyway. Fuck that sounds amazing”

I will wish people a happy holidays, a merry Christmas or a shiny Festivus as appropriate. I am neither so lazy nor so brain dead that I only have a single response for any situation. I am not Christian but I regognise that for some Christians this is an important time of year, for others it’s a cruel reminder that Paganism still has a foot hold on this world and for yet others they despair at the weird co-opting of a Coca-cola brand symbol, a mid-winder festival and a celebration of consumerism. And that’s all fine. I will celebrate this season in my own way, commemorating the birth of Sir Issac Newton and remembering what a strange fish that guy was. I mean gravity sure, but the guy was completely out to lunch in almost every other way. If you’ve never read up about him, you should. It’s fascinating. I will however support that in a State school there should be a separation of Church and state, although Children singing? Does anyone really want to hear that? Just stamp that out altogether I say.

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Also, I remember when we thought “Everything will be better when they get rid of…..Abbot…etc” The bad news is that the Liberal government have an inexhaustible supply of horrible, horrible people so nothing positive will happen whilst they are in power. Because somehow offshore detention and all that entails is totally fine, but not singing a Christmas carol is not. This man represents no Christians that I know.

Get fucked Dutts.

5 people who trade on their brother’s success

 

Leon Hendirx

The very LEAST you can say about Jimi Hendrix is that he was the most admired, emulated and loved guitarists/sonic innovator of the 1960’s. The Beatles were envious of him. Eric Clapton was envious of him. Bob Dylan heard his version of “All along the Watchtower” and decided that that is the way he should have done it. When I was learning Guitar his shadow stood long 25 years after he had died.

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Leon Hendrix. Is Jimi Hendrix’s younger brother. After years of spending time in prison on mostly drug charges he turned his life around and became and expert draughtsman at Boeing. Good gig, great end of story right? Except then he decided that this playing guitar thing looked easy. So he thought he’d give it a go. So now he goes around singing and playing guitar. Guess whose songs he mostly plays? I’ll give you a clue he’s not a Santana fan. Leon “Plays” Hendrix except he doesn’t, he plays a few chords while a chubby white guy plays Hendrix and he “sings” over the results. Now look, maybe Leon loves the blues but man it sure looks like someone who is totally indifferent to the blues crooning along to a band that happens to be behind him.

To give him his due, He sure sounds like he could draught the hell out of an aeroplane.

Leon has produced two albums in 2000’s althought it’s probably galling that his brother was more prolific during the same period producing four albums and not letting a little thing like death slow him down. On his website, leonhendrix.com, they say while his CD “Keeper of the flame” was being recorded at Seattle’s Self Adhesive Records, “a purple glow was reported to been seen”. Make of that what you will.

Neil Connery

You may not know nor care that Sean Connery has a younger half-brother. But that’s not the attitude that the Italians had in the late 60’s. Such had been the appeal of Sean in the bond films they were desperate to make their own version of them. So they tried to get Sean Connery who of course being under contract with the Broccoli brothers said he couldn’t do. I like to think that he said “You could try my non-actor younger brother, he’s not up to much” As a joke… but they did. Then they faced a quandary….how to infer to audiences that they had an actual Connery in their obvious Bond rip-off and not just some guy who looked and sounded nothing like Sean?

Well in Italy it was known as “Operation younger brother” but in the rest of the world it was known as “O.K. Connery”. It must have been something of a shock to the film makers that Neil has an Irish accent not a Scottish accent… So they had to dub him. One of the few times in an Italian movie that the UK actor was dubbed…into English. It must have been something of a shock to Neil moving from being a plasterer to the fast paced sexually charged world of Italian cinema. But credit too him, you can barely tell watching the film. He still acts every scene very much like a plasterer trying to get the hang of these “Martinis”.

The film was a middling success, helped by the inclusion of a lot of talent that had worked on actual bond films and hindered by a charisma free Bond . So Neil went back to Plastering but an injury in 1983 forced him to quit. Whereupon he decided to take up acting again….you have been warned.

Joe Estevez

As Charlie Sheen is to Emilio Estevez so to Martin Sheen is to Joe Estevez…..

Well that might be a little bit disingenuous. Martin Sheen is arguably one of the great American actors of his generation. Whereas Joe is arguably…not even a good stand-in for his brother. As the older brother Martin got into acting first. Getting his first gigs in the early 60’s. Joe didn’t get into the game till the early 70’s by which time his brother was already a star. He did stand in for his brother in Apocalypse Now….in shots where he is seen from behind going down a river…..whilst Martin was recovering from a heart attack that had been bought on by Francis Ford Copella. Other career highlights include “Soul taker” and “Werewolf” no, not the one you’ve seen. Unless you’re an MST3K fan.

Also “Max Hell Frog Warrior” and “Untitled Horror Comedy” yes…seriously. Whilst he looks less like his brother these days and more like his Character from Soul Taker he does sound like him. Something he is now using to his advantage in VO for National Rifle Association commercials. Because when you can’t get President Bartlett you get the man who starred in “Untitled horror comedy”

Mike McGear

You might not have heard of Mike McGear or at least you don’t know that you know who he is. Mike was the lead singer and main songwriter of The Scaffold a band who had a few hits in the late 60’s Their biggest hits were “Lilly the Pink” which was a song that I had to sing in school and “Thank you very much” a song that thanks no-one in particular for a list of random things  with no explanation given for this sudden rush of gratitude.

Like every musician in London on the 1960’s Mike was inspired by the Beatles, when the Beatles were at their peak Mike was an apprentice hairdresser but hearing them on the radio day to day made him think that he could do that, it didn’t hurt that Paul McCartney was his older brother so really how hard can it be? Like the older McCartney he went solo from the early 70’s and very much like him he had a dubious solo career right up till the 1980’s. Whereupon he retired from the music business. Unlike McCartney Mcgear actually recorded with Hendrix. The real one, not Leon.

McCartney did an album with McGear in 1974 called “McGear” where McCartney produced and co-wrote the songs and had Wings do the backing for which made it…well listenable at least in comparison to The Scaffold.

Wait… your saying….McCartney did Silly love songs…how bad can this be?!?!??

This bad.

 

Ron Gallagher

There’s trading on your brothers act/success/fame and then there’s simply stealing the act.

You might have heard of Leo Gallagher, or you might just know him as the guy who hits a watermelon with a mallet as the finale of his act…and then wondered why that is considered “Comedy”. As with everything the art is in the setup. As in if you go to one of his shows you will probably feel like you have been setup.

None-the less there’s no denying that people seem to want to see a guy who’s famous for destroying fruit. He’s a success, if only professionally. In the 80’s his brother Ron (who looks exactly the same as him) wasn’t doing so well, so badly in-fact that he asked his brother if he would mind if he could use his act. Leo said “That’s fine, so long as you make it clear that your “A” Gallagher not “The” Gallagher. A distinction that was apparently lost on audiences who evidently A: Didn’t know that Leo even had a brother B: Didn’t care who was smashing fruit for them so long as he had long hair and was yelling something at them while it happened.

So people turned out in droves to see the “New” Gallagher, billed as “Gallagher too” or sometimes “Gallagher Two” or sometimes just “Gallagher” which is what got Ron sued by Leo in the early 2000’s. There was an outcome but do you care? The fact remains that your chances of seeing someone hit a watermelon with a large mallet is double what it was in the late 70’s. So a win for us all.