Why I can’t stand Star trek Discovery

*Spoilers…I guess…but I can’t bring myself to care*

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Ok so let’s go on a pros and cons basis.

Pro’s

It looks amazing. In the last episode there was a moment where Mudd and Burhnam are standing in Captain Lorcha’s office and it just looks wonderful. This is movie grade cinematography.

I liked the idea of Mudds time travel device even if it is nothing new. (See Startrek TNG: Cause and Effect, Groundhog Day, Buffy: Life Serial, Doctor Who: Megalos, Doctor Who: Heaven Sent, The Outerlimits: DeJavu, Red Dwarf: White Hole, Startrek TNG: Time Squared, Startrek Voyager: Coda    et cetera, et cetera… Memo bis punitor delicatum! It’s all there! Black and white, clear as crystal! *Slams down candy on bench*)Wonka

I enjoyed the two-hour pilot even if I wish that Michell Yoh’s captain was the actual captain that we had.

 

 

 

Con’s

Everyone on the show is an Idiot.

Burhnam is not logical in any way shape or form. Even for a human she’s illogical, for a Starfleet officer she’s positively insane. Impulsive doesn’t being to cut it.

Lorcha is not just a flawed hero, he’s running a hipster Wunderkabner in the ships basement.

There is no way “Ash” Tyler isn’t a Klingon spy.

Stamets was the best character but now he’s tripping on shrooms all the time…speaking of which…

The conceit of the show is NUTS. Warp technology is farfetched, but the mushroom drive is hippy bullshit. Hippy bullshit that does not appear in the show in the future at all (Like did you know that shrooms open up the universe to you man? It’s all connected, think about it. Connected). It’s not even mentioned. (cut to them putting the spores in a big crate marked “TOP SECRET” and shipping it into a warehouse at the end of the season, cut to very happy Tardigrade)

In the last episode the plot of the show was stopped so that Michael and the security officer could have a “moment” that they would never remember. A fact that Statmets knew.

The episode before that was terrible. Just terrible. As Spock’s father dies he unburdens himself on Michael making it more unreasonable that we have never heard of her before.

Saru is just the “No” character. He is one dimensional and one note. It’s small wonder we haven’t seen his species before they are super annoying.

The writing is terrible. Let’s take one example: Spoiler for “Context is for Kings” a title that is far too literal here. Burhnam and co go onboard the “Glenn” where they find an angry and giant Tardigrade. It is made clear that the Tardigrade is impervious to phaser 120815_ti_tardigrade_freefire and has taken out an entire Klingon taskforce. It can also chew through bulkheads and whatever the walls of a starship are made of Unobtanium I’m guessing in this new iteration of Trek. So how would you capture such a creature? Well your guess is as good as mine because that happened off screen. Sure why not do the impossible off screen because why would that be interesting? I guess it’s assumed that the creature is beamed into the holding cell which is re-enforced with force fields but that was an INSANE risk. Which is what the crew of the Discovery take all the time. BTW now that Staments is part mushroom you’d think he’d be happier with the Captain keeping him in the dark and feeding him bullshit and indeed he seems to be.

 

So, in conclusion no I do not like this show. But I don’t have the same problems that others seem to have such as; female protagonist *shrug* her name being Michael *once again shrug* a perceived left wing liberal agenda being injected into a utopian future? If anything, I’d say it’s not utopian enough. Also, have those people even seen Star Trek? The Klingons are ridiculous in their single dimensionality and the fact that they can’t talk properly through their fake teeth. It’s clearly set in the Kelvin Timeline no matter what anyone says and that in itself isn’t a damning conceit but goodness the writing is shit. And I can’t forgive that.

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